Counseling for Insecurity &
Self-Esteem

A lot of people struggle with feelings of insecurity. Really. It’s not just you.

Studies suggest that only around 56 percent of people have a truly secure attachment style.  

At Modern Era, we see a lot of people who are struggling with insecurity.

Early on, most of them tell us they’re spending a lot of time feeling jealous, anxious, or incomplete. Arguments with their partners are causing them to question their entire relationship. And when their partners act cold or distant, they automatically assume that it’s about them.

Those who aren’t in a relationship are often crippled by feelings of inadequacy. They’re telling themselves they’re just not enough. Not attractive enough. Not interesting enough. Not smart or funny enough.

What is insecurity?

Feeling insecure doesn’t mean you don’t desire closeness. It also doesn’t mean your capacity for intimacy is lacking.

With insecurity, it’s not your level of love and commitment toward your partner that’s the issue. The real issue is never being able to trust that someone could possibly feel the same level of love and commitment toward you.

With insecurity usually comes feelings of distrust and suspicion, which can show up in a lot of different ways:

  • Worrying that once a partner gets to know the real you, they won’t like who you are
  • Convincing yourself that eventually your partner will stop loving you
  • Internalizing your partner’s moods and behaviors (telling yourself you did something wrong)
  • Frequently reading between the lines of interactions with a partner
  • Getting worked up (angry, jealous, etc.) and saying or doing things you later regret

How does counseling help with insecurity?

At Modern Era, we take an attachment-based treatment approach to helping you feel more secure in your relationships and build deeper romantic bonds.

In the early stages of counseling, we help you identify your specific attachment style and gain a deeper understanding of how you approach connecting with others. We’ll explore possible connections between previous relationships (both with caregivers and partners) and the felt sense of insecurity that keeps showing up.

We don’t stop at insight, though. We also give you a diverse set of “attachment tools” and help you put them use in your romantic life. With greater awareness of insecurity and other related emotions, you’ll be able to respond more effectively to interactions and other situations that elicit feelings of insecurity.  

At the end of counseling, we want you to leave feeling confident in your ability to:

  • Identify jealous negative thoughts and interrupt them quickly
  • Communicate more directly with romantic partners
  • Advocate for your specific attachment needs and wants
  • Accurately read and respond to your partner’s emotional cues
  • Mover toward a more rewarding relationship

Insecurity can make it hard to develop new relationships or to enjoy the relationship you’re already in. But with the right support, you can overcome insecurity and feel more confident around love and intimacy. 

Contact Modern Era Counseling today to get the support you deserve!

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